Over-coaching Can Kill

Just after midnight, I awoke with the impression that our heifer (a first-time mama) had just given birth. I rushed out in my pajamas and found a slick, beautiful calf lying on the ground. Relieved, I sat down to watch him try to stand and nurse, knowing he needed that first drink of colostrum within the hour to survive, especially in the cold."

For the next five agonizing hours, I watched this determined little calf get to his feet only to have his mother knock him over.  She tried to help him by nudging him with her nose but would accidentally push him down. This happened over and over, as seen in the video below. I tried to go into the pen to help, but the protective mother chased me out. 

By 5 a.m., the calf stopped trying. In desperation, I called a neighbor who is an experienced rancher. He came right over and roped the mother. As I held her tight against the fence, he helped the calf stand and nurse. As he was leaving, he taught me a profound lesson. “That heifer was just over-mothering.  She loves him too much. An experienced cow steps back and lets her calf struggle. That’s how they learn to stand.”

Later that day, I went on a horseback ride with a good friend and fellow coach, Gordon. He is a combat veteran Marine officer who has been coaching high school sports for years. He told me, “Most leaders can’t help themselves. They know they should allow their people to make mistakes to grow. You see this with parents of athletes. They’re constantly injecting themselves, thinking they’re helping their kids, but end up doing just the opposite.”